Sorrows,Regrets and Illusions
by LeViAtHaN2001
Summary: Kuja reviews his misguided life.....read and review!! Please?


FF IX Fanfiction   
Original Author: Garnet_Eiko@yahoo.com  
Title: Sorrows,Regrets and Illusions  
(A Fanfic based about Kuja's feeling about his life)  
Disclaimer: All the materials,characters and story in FFIX are copyrighted to Squaresoft.This story are copyrighted to  
the original author.So that's mean that no copying or selling whatsoever.Comments and criticism are always welcome.  
^_^ .This is just a rough draff of the fic so there'll surely be some bloops and blunders in it.SPOILERS abound.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Fate holds everything in its hands.Everyone,including mine.Fate has chosen me to be a genome.Why did it  
chose me to be a genome? I don't know why,yet i can't refuse it.My life was like hell since i was created.Being created by  
Garland,i was the one who is the most supreme.I was unlike the other genomes.The others were just walking bodies,soulless,  
mindless,empty headed ,doing their every day routine.Everyday,the same thing.They are sastified to be born in this world  
as the vessel for Garland's stupid scheme on reviving Terra.I'm not.I'm not like that at all.I won't accept my fate to be a genome.  
I don't want anyone controlling around with my life.I want to be on my own.I want to be free to decide on anything i want.  
I could kill Garland if i want to,but his powers are far supreme than mine.Challenging him would be disasterous.He had lived  
for 5000 years,i must say.So i wait,patiently as i put together all the plans that was in my head.I was a real mastermind.  
  
Only for 7 years i've been to this stupid world,Garland has decided to replace my place with someone more  
powerful,more obedient and controllable.Why did he do this to me?Why?Is it because i refused to be the vessel he had  
hoped for?Is it?Garland,can't you understand my needs?I need to be free.I don't want to be your toy.Yet you called me as   
a defect.A defect?Hah...good one Garland.Good one.Because of your blabbering mouth who just want to tell every single   
one of your plans,you have set yourself in the trap that i've set.Or are you?I'll try everything--everything that i need to stop  
your stupid plans.I must stop you from replacing me,if i must.  
  
I lived my life as the "Angel of Death",spreading chaos,grief and destruction across the lands of Gaia.I followed  
every order that you make.I gathered every information on every quest you gave me.I was 11 at the time,while the brat Zidane  
is already a stupid 4 year old.I guess it is time for me to part him from you now.Zidane--i hold no grudge to you.I'm doing this  
for my survival.It's Garland whom i hated.It's him who makes my life miserable.Surviving is my only chance.I dropped you  
at Gaia,so you could live and grow up to be a weak,stupid mortal among those mortals.This is the only thing that kept me  
calm--to see Garland's wonderfull creation rotting on Gaia.It gives me an immense feelings of sastifaction.I'm glad to keep  
him away from you.Yet,Garland,you don't seemed to mind at all.Why?Isn't Zidane,your greatest creation is going to be crippled  
away without your guidance and tutoring?There must be a reason to this such behavior.I have no time to think about this,i need  
to think about my survival,for the strong that is the one that can survive.It is the rule of nature...isn't it?  
  
A few years passed.I don't care about that.What i know now is that Garland has something he had been fearing for--  
he feared this more than anything--eidolons.Maybe this will help me to destroy that old man.I ride through the horizons with my  
beautiful mystical Silver Dragon,and finally,as fate should have been,i arrived at Alexandria.There,i persuade the queen about   
expanding her kingdom with the aid of my weapons--the Black Mages.The mist is also a very good ingredients to make this,and  
i need something to make more death and feed it to the Iifa tree so it would process more mist.I can't do this alone,so i need  
eidolons.Because of this,the stupid queen told me the answer that i've been dreaming for,the key to my freedom.The daughter  
to this queen,Garnet has hidden powers of eidolons within her body.Ah,the canary.It will give me the sweetest gift of all when   
she's 16.Now,isn't a good time to extract the eidolons,for she will not survive it.I will never let such beauty die.So i patiently,waited.  
  
Fate has it again.I and Zidane are destined to meet each other again.Of course,he has already forgotten about me.I see  
that he is now grown like those mortals whom i despies,just according to my plans.Oh how wonderfull this turned out to be.Yet i  
was wrong for i judge by appearance.Now i know why Garland didn't seemed to mind about the loss of his precious toy.  
He had created Zidane to be self-dependable,capable to train and learn by himself.He tapped so many powers with his determination thus   
almost backfiring every plan i make.So,you have figured this from the beginning,Garland?You have designed him to be like that because you know  
that i will snatch him from you?I must say,you are truly brilliant.Truly.I admire your knowledge.But my knowledge is more brilliant.  
Even though Zidane is now a hazard to my plans,i still able to figure out some trappings for him and his friends to enjoy.Ah ha ha ha,  
i do love to see people suffer.It makes me feel happier at all times.  
  
The eidolons have been extracted from the canary.My canary will live,but without her powers to summon eidolons.Now the  
time for me to cast away these mask and act that i've put on for all this years now nears.Now what i need to do is to steal the eidolons  
from that fat ugly queen's hands.The queen was too stupid to show off the eidolons at me.I will give her the taste of her own  
medicine.The queen casts out Bahamut.Good.The Kings of all Dragons will be mine.I let Bahamut to give out its best at me.  
Indeed,it had lived in its name.Even though i escaped unscathe,a wound forms on my forhead.Blood oozes out from it.Blood--how  
incredible.This is the first time anyone or anything hurted me.Even it was little.I smiled and smirked,Bahamut is certainly will be a   
great help to my plans.I called out Garland so he will reveal Invincible to them all.Invincible--the ship that has the power to   
brainwash the eidolons.Bahamut is under my command now.Victory shall be mine.I watched gleefully as Bahamut destroys Brahne  
and her fleet.Ah...the scene is so tragic and wonderfull.Now,for the finishing touch...i must get the greatest eidolon ever--the great Alexander.  
  
In order for the eidolon to appear,i summoned Bahamut to do the job--to destroy and wreak havoc in the kingdom.As i   
suspected,the great eidolon appeared.Spreading up its magnificent wings before me--it was such a sight.And indeed,it is  
strong.It destroys Bahamut,the strongest dragons of all.I called out Invincible to have it.But this time,it is different.Garland   
destroys my plan by destroying the eidolon.Why Garland?Are you too afraid that i might use that eidolon to beat you?Are you?  
No Garland.Even though you did succeed on preventing me from having it,i still have second option.Yes,this will certainly   
the ultimate power--to Trance.After seeing the incident at the Gulug Volcano,i started to wonder.If the littlest moogle could  
unleash such powerfull power,i could do it too.I can,with the helps of some souls.  
  
Zidane did came to defeat me.His desire and will to uncover the truth about his hometown and to defeat me guided  
him all the way.I could see Garland,defeated by his own creation.I'm sure he is quite happy that he'd actually created the most  
perfect prototype of all.How pathetic that sounds.I waited for my entrance.When Garland is near death,i came down,facing  
Zidane and others.How unremarkably wonderfull.I knew that i will lose to him,though i hate to admit it.They actually helped  
me to reach Trance.I use the souls of Gaians to achieve this.Oh my long dreamed dream,it will come true at last.But oh..  
how it shatters when Garland says this unbelievable words.He knew that i will be a threat to him,so he limited my lifespan.  
He had planned this since the beginning.I will die...? I will die when Zidane is stronger than myself? I can't believe what i'm   
hearing.I went mad.This world doesn't deserve to live if i had to die.I destroyed Terra with my own.Ah ha ha ha ha ha......i will  
eliminate everything.Everything.I will destroy the one source for all lifes--the crystal.This world will not exist without me.Never  
it will!  
  
I went through Memoria with no problems.I've reached the place where life all began.The crystal...glowing bright  
and steady.For me it was nothing.This junk will be pieces,never to glow again.This is the stupidest thing i've ever done.As   
Necron says,"Life lives but only to fear death.Fear becomes hatred,hatred becomes anger,anger becomes destruction." I think   
i am the victim to this fear.I feared so much,that i was willing to destroy everything.Not until Zidane came.He beat the crap  
out of me,and in an instance,its sorta knocked some reality into my head.I thought about my life as i lay down inside the Iifa  
tree,life withered away every second.Life flashes through my mind.Now,i finally realized what it means to live.This must be  
the thing that drived Zidane so strong.His will to live is stronger,thus making him powerfull.He had some friends to support  
him.He had a happy life in Gaia.Did i have friends?Did i live happy?No.I don't.After all this while,i shunned away from the   
reality.So,i deserved to be left die alone.Things are rather fuzzy now.So this is what they called near-death? Honestly,I think  
that it is kind of good.  
  
My pains,my aches,....all gone now.What i feel now is complete numbness.I stared blankly to the sky,waiting for   
death to arrive.I bid farewell to all,...especially you Zidane.I closed my eyes,losing all hopes.I was suddenly awakened by  
Zidane's loud voice.That brat...i've helped him to run.Yet he still wants to save me?I pleaded at him to go.No,it wasn't a   
plead...it was a demand.He refused.So...he did have something common with me.What it is i don't know.I only got a feeling.  
Zidane plunged through the vines.I thought he will be dead.Dead meat.But no,he falls down right beside me.We get to stare  
at each other for awhile.Then he went down.Hard.Pretty stupid.I chuckled to myself.This may be just a imagination.Even if  
its true,he couldn't have survived the fall.Awareness becomes blurry.Zidane called out to me again.With my strength,i managed  
to lift my head to turn to other way."Zidane?.." I was shocked.Why did he come back for me?Why?I am his enemy...his worst  
nightmare.Yet Zidane didn't show any hatred.He hopped right beside me.He sits beside me and we had a chat together.It   
was nice as long as it lasts.I've finally told him that i don't really deserve to be in this world.I've found true meanings of life but..  
it was too late.My time is up.I shifts my head slowly,eyes closed.I could hear Zidane's voice,pleading to me.Then,all i could hear  
is the sound of vines rushing towards us.I thought that Zidane will run away and save himself.But no.He shields his body over   
mine.This is the first time ever that anyone cared about me.I won't let him die.I won't let him.God,i let you take my life but please  
spare his.I gathered all my strengths that was left,i cast Ultima on the vines.The vines are destroyed.I'm pretty sure Zidane  
will be alright.Darkness overwhelms me,and my soul slowly drifting away from the land.Goodbye Zidane.....Thank you for  
your gift.I may remember this always.Goodbye...my brother.May you and your friends have a happy life.  
  
~End~  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Comments:God...this is my first FFIX fic.Or should i say,the first in all FF series!Does it turned out good?I hope it is. Please,  
if you like,give support,comments or criticism so that i'll produce more of this.Send it to the above address.  
Thanks to the theme song of Beatrix for giving me the inspiration to write this.The melodious song gives some knacking  
to my head!^-^ Well....this fic is kinda looks like a diary of Kuja...isn't it?...-__-;;; 


End file.
